Who are we? Just three movie-going girls who like to look at boys? No! Well, we are that, but we're so much more! And we'd like to introduce you to our newest friend, Fifi!

Fifi, the Hot Bad Poodle

Woof! Arf arf arf woof, arf woof woof arf. Grrrr, bark woof woof Inner Mongolia, woof arf arf woof. Woof woof woof, arf grrrrr, arf arf bark bark woof. Woof bark bark bark arf arf woof woof. Strong beer woof arf woof arf martinis arf woof woof Alec Guinness arf arf arf arf woof woof. Strong men arf arf, arf arf woof woof cabana, woof woof woof bark bark arf woof. Arf woof woof arf arf woof bark woof woof bark woof arf arf arf woof woof arf bark bark arf woof. Woof.

Woof Milwaukee arf woof woof grrrrr bench grinder grrrrr grrrrr yipe! Woof woof arf arf; woof, grrrrr woof woof woof woof woof arf arf arf. woof bark bark bark woof woof bark woof woof Anwar Sadat woof woof arf grrrrr arf arf woof. Woof arf arf Haribo Raspberries woof woof woof Thai Crack bark arf bark bark arf arf.

Woof woof bark Grand Cayman woof woof treat woof woof woof, woof arf woof leather studded dog collar woof woof bark bark woof woof woof Hot Bad Guys grrrrrrrr!

-Fifi

Moonstone

The youngest of the Hot Bad Guy Goddesses, Moonstone claims she was born in the early 1900s, just in time to live it up as a flapper in the Roaring Twenties. There is photographic evidence linking her with the Russian royal house of the Romanovs, and some believe her to be lost Grand Duchess Anastasia. Moonstone herself categorically denies this, despite the fact that she swears in fluent Russian when she's drunk.

It is an established fact that Moonstone spent the bulk of the Twenties and the Great Depression in Chicago, floating (quite literally) from speakeasy to speakeasy, and Rich Man's Bed to Rich Man's Bed. Moonstone attributes her never being at a loss for attractive and wealthy companions to a "classical liberal arts education." We think she's taking "classical" a little far. Ahem.

She went underground during World War II, presumably working in a factory to aid the war movement. Her datebooks from the era show a shocking amount of travelling through various Theaters of Operations for someone with a steady job, so perhaps she "aided the war movement" in a different fashion.

The Late Forties and Fifties were a tough time for Moonstone. There wasn't even good TV yet. But alcohol was readily available then, so she wasn't too unhappy. The Sixties and Seventies, with the wider availability of psychotropic and hallucinogenic drugs, as well as the Free Love Movement, improved her spirits immeasurably, at least before she came down off that high, and saw who was lying next to her. She insists that she coined the phrase "coyote ugly."

Since the Seventies, Moonstone has cultivated the image of an eccentric alcoholic. With an astounding fortune of unspecified origin, she never wants for anything, but spends most of her time drinking, watching movies, and looking elegant. And inviting Hot Bad Guys to her boudoir.

Email Moonstone: moonstone@hotbadguys.com

Princess

Princess was born in the West Indies in the late 1730's. Whether her title is an actual one or merely a courtesy title is on her list of Things She Refuses to Discuss, along with her exact age, the gross national product of Zimbabwe, and the location of the lost jewels of the Tippoo of Mysore. (She claims that she was in Paris at the time and defies anyone to prove otherwise.) Princess was educated in an Austrian convent, where she learned needlepoint, piano, ballroom dancing, proper care of fine weaponry, and the art of conversation. Her Highness showed from an early age that she had an appreciation for Hot Bad Guys, although the rumor that she was once a lover of Napoleon Bonaparte is one she continues to deny vociferously. In the mid 1800's, she traveled extensively through Europe, visiting museums, eating fine chocolates, and exchanging witty repartee with the European elite. She decided to wait to visit the United States until after the end of the Civil War, as that amount of gunpowder in the air would have been hell on her complexion. Her Highness did make it to New York and no further in time for the Grand Opening of Yankee Stadium, although she decided after close inspection not to have the experience of sitting in the bleacher seats. Her stage debut also took place in New York in the critically acclaimed but publicly ignored, "Life of a Princess from the West Indies," in which she played a more daring and scantily clad version of herself with better rhythm. Her dreams of conquering Broadway temporarily put on hold, Princess is currently living a quiet life as she pens her memoirs. In her spare time, she invents strange alcoholic concoctions, shops for jewelry, drives fast cars, and pays homage to Hot Bad Guys both past and present.

Email Princess: princess@hotbadguys.com

Dandelion

Dandelion came into this world during a transcendental meditation session between her parents, famous rock stars from the 60s who shall remain nameless. During a particularly intense acid trip, her mother realized that all the beauty in the universe springs from the vibrant yellows of that lowly flower (never call it a weed!), the dandelion. And thus, she was born.

After wandering through the Himilayas and hanging out with L(l)amas, both hooved and human in nature, she discovered her inner chi and set off to rejoin the teeming masses in the bistros of Prague and the underworld gambling dens of Barcelona. While not strictly Known and Recognized, it has been said that Dandelion lit up the hearts of many a man, not least of which were certain royalty who went on to drink themselves into oblivion when they realized they could never truly possess her.

These days, Dandelion spends her time building castles in the air and dreams from fine spun silk. She can be caught contributing an homage or two to the pantheon of Hot Bad Guys -- a coveted list of actors and the Roles That Seize Women By Their Ovaries and Shake Them!

Email Dandelion: dandelion@hotbadguys.com

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