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Valmont

It may have taken a while for Hot Bad Guy Colin Firth to Get Evil, but in Valmont, he certainly played the part to the hilt. In it, he plays the title character, a devious fellow who changes boudoirs as easily as he changes socks. He is a close friend of Annette Benning (all those French names are confusing) and together, they conceive of a plot so devastating, so evil, so depraved, that frankly I'm amazed that there wasn't a movie version of it done in the 1970's. Annette asks Colin to seduce her cousin (aged 15), who is engaged to Annette's lover. Annette wants the lover embarrassed on his wedding night for leaving her. Cousin, of course, is in love with another, played by Wanna Be Hot Bad Guy Henry Thomas, who, it must be said, looks a bit...young. If Colin succeeds in the seduction, he gets to sleep with Annette. Yeah, there's a lot going on here. Pedophiliac tendencies aside, Colin is Bad Bad Bad. However, he looks fantastic. Really fantastic. And the way he can fill out a pair of hose! Naturally, the plan goes to hell, resulting in pain, bloodshed and teenaged pregnancy, but it was enjoyable while it lasted.

Purchasers of the DVD be warned: there is not one, not two, but three scenes missing from the DVD version of Valmont, including the seminal bathing scene of 18th century French literature. I know not if this situation will be rectified in future editions, however I think We Should All write letters to the production people. Missing Out on Naked Colin Firth causes me Pain like No Other.