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Star Wars Holiday Special

Admit it, we all suspected that The Star Wars Holiday Special would be bad. I just had no idea How Amazingly Bad it actually is. Painful. Surreal. Nauseating. These are just some of the words that I could use to describe the viewing experience. I guess when even George Lucas says something is bad, we should really believe him.

Here's the summary: Chewbacca and Han Solo are trying to get back to Chewbacca's home planet so that he can celebrate Life Day with his family, wife Malla, father-in-law Itchy, and son (I swear I'm not making this up) Lumpy. Naturally, The Empire causes difficulties. All our favorites appear: Luke (with a frightening amount of eyeliner), Leia, C3PO, R2D2, even Boba Fett in an animated sequence that, wretched as it seems, is actually the highlight of the show. There's also a series of completely inexplicable guest stars, including Art Carney, Bea Arthur, and Harvey Korman.

The group of people I watched it with was, alas, sober during the viewing. I suspect there is not enough alcohol in the world to make this Not Suck. Suffice it to say that when it started with a 10 minute sequence all in Wookie, we knew we were in trouble. Things did not improve with the appearance of Jefferson Starship. I know that even the worst review in the world will not stop some superfans from trying to track down their very own copies. But, please. I beg you. Spare the children.

And if this review didn't give you a clear view of How Unbelievably Bad the Holiday Special really is, you can get more information here. To think I used to believe Hot Bad Guys was the most extraneous site out there.


Quality of the Hot Guys: um, Itchy? I don't think so.
Quality of the Bad Guys: even the Imperials were a touch campy.
Quality of the Other Stuff: sadly, it didn't even come with a knife to jab in my eye.
Overall Score: