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We were all excited. We got advance tickets. We stood in insanely long lines. We spoke of almost nothing else for weeks before it was released. And our reward for being Star Wars fans since childhood? For buying the figures and the ships and having enough UPC codes to get the limited edition Emperor figurine and spending hours making whoosh sounds during faux lightsaber battles? Star Wars: The Phantom Menace. Yeah, the title should have been the first clue that this was Not Our Mother's Star Wars.
Much as it pains me to admit it, this Star Wars movie sucked. It sucked a lot. It sucked monkey butts.
Jake Lloyd as Young Anakin Skywalker was absolutely wretched.
Jar Jar Binks was an entity conceived in the bowels of hell.
The plot was formed from pure evil. It has almost nothing to recommend it except for the appearance of
Ewan McGregor with a dodgy haircut and Liam Neeson with questionable facial hair.
a Trade Federation? Um, no. And not nearly enough Darth Maul.
complicated plot, not enough action, Jar Jar Binks, Jake Lloyd and don't even get me started on the mitichlorian situation.
and it's name is Darth Maul
