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Return of the Jedi

The last movie of the Real Trilogy, Return of the Jedi picks up with Luke and various other Good Guys attempting to rescue Han Solo from the Evil Clutches of Jabba the Hutt. He's still frozen in carbonite, which is no doubt hell on his skin. Anyway, long story short, they get away, but not before Princess Leia changes her clothes in a desperate cry for help. While the Good Guys are doing Good Deeds, the Bad Guys, displaying what will ultimately seem to be a tragic ignorance of Past Architectural Problems, have decided to rebuild the Death Star. Sure, it's bigger, but when your enemy blows up something, you really need to go back to the drawing board and start from scratch.

The Good Guys, discovering this menacing infrastructure, of course plan to destroy this one, too. They regroup and the Main Good Guys head to the forest moon of Endor (for the last time, it's not a planet), where they are aided by small bear-like creatures. Luke, who majored in Lurking at the Dagobah Training Camp, tells Leia she's his sister and that Darth Vader is their father and he's off to try to save Dear Old Dad. Knowing how well his rescuing instinct worked in Cloud City during the Last Movie, she tries to change his mind. Of course, he ignores her and promptly gets struck by lightning bolts coming out of the hands of the Emperor, a Truly Bad Dude. And of all people to change to the Good Side, no one ever saw Darth Vader coming. He threw a wrench into the Evil Plan by killing the Emperor, which allowed the Good Guys to destroy the still-under-construction Death Star and Save the Universe. Return of the Jedi is another great movie, complete with a menacing male choir during the last lightsaber battle. But, like I always say, you just can't trust a guy in life support armor.