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Fantastic Four

Yes, Friends, it’s yet another Superhero Movie. After the debacle that was Hulk, we as viewers have come to expect just a little more from Our Superhero Movies. With films like X Men, Spiderman, and Batman Begins, we’ve been, well, spoiled. That’s why I was expecting so much more from Fantastic Four than I actually got. Sure, it had Wanna Be Hot Bad Guys Ioan Gruffudd and Chris Evans in blue spandex, not to mention the Qualifying Role for Hot Bad Guy Julian McMahon, but it was okay. Just…okay.

Here’s the short story: Mr. Gruffudd plays Reed Richards, total genius science type. He needs money. Lots of money because he needs to go to space to study…something. (Frankly, who cares, it’s Ioan Gruffudd.) He goes to Victor Von Doom, a guy who clearly has evil tendencies, I mean, just look at his name, and who is dating Reed’s ex-girlfriend, the Amazingly Badly Casted Jessica Alba as Sue Storm. I bought her as a stripper in Sin City, but I’m not falling for the genetic researcher line, thanks. (Incidentally, there are Lots of Shots of Victor Von Doom’s inexplicably large black leather office chairs. I mean, these are some Large Chairs. It almost makes me wonder if he’s compensating for something.)

Anyway, they all, plus Sue’s Hot Brother Johnny, and Reed’s buddy Michael Chiklis go to space. But the storm comes early and the shields don’t work. So they get superpowers. Pretty wicked, huh? Reed Richards becomes Mr. Fantastic and can stretch any part of his body into whatever shape he wants… Sorry, got distracted there. Johnny Storm becomes the Human Torch, Sue becomes Invisible Girl, and poor Michael Chiklis becomes The Thing. Victor gets superpowers, too, but he’s not foolish enough to use them for Good. He tries to get power. Lots of it. And step one on his path is the destruction of the Fantastic Four.

Of course, I’m not quite clear on what the rest of Dr. Doom’s plan is after killing Our Heroes. It’s not very clear. I mean, he must want something, right? But as far as Evil Plans go, well, Dr. Doom should probably head back to the drawing board. Anyway, the FF eventually destroy Dr. Doom and he gets sent back to his Home Country, Latveria. A tragic end to a Villain with so much potential. I’m not sure what he would do with his potential, but it would have to be something, right? I guess we’ll have to wait for the sequel.

Overall, this is a pretty entertaining flick. Not great, but good. Good story, good special effects, plus pretty boys in spandex. And what more could we want? (I meant other than the next X Men movie.)


Quality of the Hot Guys: Ioan Gruffudd and Chris Evans in Spandex and Julian McMahon
Quality of the Bad Guys: I’d feel better if Doctor Doom had a plan
Quality of the Other Stuff: it’s okay, just not what we’ve come to expect from Our Superhero Movies
Overall Score: