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The Day After Tomorrow

There are some movies that you go into knowing they’re going to suck, but you just can’t help yourself. Like Moonstone with the Shark Movies. Or me with the crazy, overblown, big budget action flicks. Sure, sometimes they’re okay. But most of the time, they leave logic at the door when it comes to the plot. If you’re really lucky, you get a Hot Guy in a Wet T Shirt. That’s certainly the case with The Day After Tomorrow with Wanna Be Hot Bad Guy Jake Gyllenhaal.

Here’s the Short Story: Dennis Quaid is a paleoclimatologist, who travels the world trying to convince people that Global Warming is a Bad Thing. (No kidding.) Anyway, the government refuses to listen, even though strange meteorological events have started to occur. Like tornadoes in Los Angeles and crazy amounts of rain in New York City. Dr. Quaid recommends evacuating the United States south of the Mason-Dixon Line, because of gathering storms coming in from the north that instantly freeze things like helicopters. People in the Northeast are told to stay inside so they don’t freeze. (Hey! Isn’t that an interesting way to get rid of the Blue States?!) Naturally, Quaid’s son, played by Mr. Gyllenhaal, is in New York City for an academic… thing. Meanwhile, a giant wave is heading right toward the city. He and a wacky band of adventurers are holed up in the Public Library. When he discovers this, even though everyone has been told to stay inside, the Laws of Nature clearly don’t apply to Quaid as he determines to drive to NYC to rescue his kid. Regardless of the freezing thing. The vehicle makes it as far as Philadelphia, when he and a Stalwart Companion end up walking the rest of the way. Through the sub-arctic temperatures. Okay. Sure. Anyway, by some miracle, they make it and find Jake and Co. fine, although they did burn some books to stay warm. They are later rescued by helicopters.

So, okay, the story is completely inexplicable. Major climate changes happening in, like, two hours? Walking from Philly to NYC in freezing temperatures? How dumb do the movie studios think we are? Um, actually, lots of people went to see this movie, so I guess we’re pretty dumb. But still, sitting through this wretched movie is totally worth it to see Jake Gyllenhaal fight off a pack of wolves. Trust me.