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Ash Wednesday

Let me start off by being completely honest here: I bought this movie on DVD sight unseen because I love Elijah Wood. I knew almost nothing about the movie at all. Imagine my surprise when Mr. Wood ruthlessly guns down a couple of rival gangsters within the first ten minutes of the film! Could this be it? Could Mr. Wood have actually made the Hot Bad Guy List at last? Tragically, it was not to be. He was actually protecting his family, namely his brother, played by Ed Burns, and that, my friends, falls into the realm of vigilante justice.

But still, someone who kills as easily as that, must be a villain, right? Wrong. The rest of the movie takes place when Mr. Wood's character, Sean Sullivan, returns to Hell's Kitchen three years after the killings, blithely ignoring the fact that everyone has been told that he's dead, including his wife. (Hang on, someone as young-looking as Elijah Wood has a wife? Yeah. I feel your pain.) He's returned to pick up his woman before going back into exile in Texas. Unfortunately, he's seen by other gangsters and his brother, Francis, is forced to smuggle him back out of the city.

Yes, it's just as fascinating as it sounds, but you know, it's almost worth it to see a fleeting picture of Elijah Wood in a brown 80's suit for his wedding. While Ash Wednesday is not the worst film ever made, it's definitely not the best either. Unless you're a die hard Elijah Wood fan or just obsessed with Ed Burns' films, I wouldn't bother.