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Part III in the continuing glimpse into Princess' Brain
I hope that someday that singer Dido meets a nice young man named Aeneas. I realize that may doom her to a life of misery, disappointments in love, and eventual poisonings, but I think it's worth the risk.
Dear God, WHY is Showtime doing a remake of the Lion in Winter? It is so unnecessary.
Is Return of the King out yet?
Why is there nothing but JFK specials on TV? Haven't we covered all that already, like a hundred times? I would think there's really nothing left to say.
How much longer until Spring Training?
Is Return of the King out yet?
I would like to state, concerning the Fox series Skin, which was recently cancelled after three episodes - nyah, nyah, told you so.
Oh, wait. Anniversary of JFK's assassination. I got it. Never mind.
I just saw an ad that claims the average American owns fourteen credit cards. How is that possible? Let's assume for a moment that many of these people are children and thus should not have credit cards at all. Is there a group of people with hundreds of credit cards that are skewing the numbers for the rest of us?
Is it possible that when cats sit and stare at people, they're reading our thoughts? Wow. That's a frightening idea.
Is Return of the King out YET?
Am I too old to be looking forward to watching cartoons? Let me ponder that while eating this string cheese. Mmm... cheese... What was I saying?
While watching Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring Extended Edition, in preparation for The Two Towers Extended Edition -
Good Lord, could Liv Tyler be any more annoying? I should have been cast as Arwen. I would have been fantastic. Plus, I would have gotten to work with two Hot Bad Guys, one Hot and Cool Bad Guy, one Cool Bad Guy, and two Wanna Bes. It doesn't get much better than that.
Mmmm... Sean Bean as Boromir is all...shiny...and kinda Moved By Evil. One would never have imagined how sexy that can be.
Can cats overdose on catnip? Maybe I DID give them too much.
He said, "sit down, Legolas." Maybe you need some more time with your Elvish language tapes.
Wouldn't it be great if you COULD walk into Mordor? "Cheerio, chaps, just popping in to toss this ring into your volcano, don't mind us. Why yes, we'd love a cup of tea." Probably wouldn't have made as good a movie though.
Dammit. DVD change. I really must hire someone to take care of these things.
Well, the cat regained consciousness. That's good.
Dammit, Bilbo. If you hadn't made such a fuss about holding the Ring, we could have had a shirtless Elijah scene. Every time I watch this movie, I hope that scene will be different and it Never Is. How aggravating.
Is Return of the King out yet? The wait is killing me.
Man, hobbits must hate having their hair tousled. No wonder they never leave the Shire.
Oh weird. The top of Saruman's staff is exactly the same as the top of the tower. Just, you know, smaller. 400 times through this movie and I never noticed before.
I wonder if Gandalf has a tower somewhere that looks like his staff after he becomes Gandalf the White. Huh. That's vaguely, um, dirty. Best not continue with that train of thought.
Hey, Gandalf is pretty mean to Pippin. It's not so surprising that he ran off and joined the Navy with Russell Crowe, now is it?
Who at TV Guide thought hot pink would be a good idea for a background for Reba McIntyre, who has bright red hair? Whoever is responsible should be taken out and beaten by the Queer Eye guys.
Oh, my sweet Frodo. I know you wish you'd never gotten the ring. I will comfort you and feed you soup. Among other things to cheer you up. After all, you know what they say about the size of a man's feet...
Sam, stop fondling Frodo's...chain mail shirt.
There are some amazingly unattractive bad guys in this movie. Goblins and orcs, for example. Maybe instead of breeding orcs and goblin men, Saruman should have worked his genetic magic on developing more attractive minions. With Lurtz, he succeeded to some degree, but really. Just look at these guys. Blech.
Yeah, I could watch Pride and Prejudice. Why hello, Mr. Darcy.
Or baseball. I could watch baseball.
See, Legolas? If you spend some time with those language tapes, you'll be able to talk to the nice elf with the dodgy weave.
Whenever Aragorn gets around Galadriel, he gets this hey-I'm-boffing-your-granddaughter look that is most unappealing.
Where did the elves get the pillowcases they gave the fellowship? I didn't realize that the elves shopped in 1978.
Galadriel is never going to be able to get the mud out of that white dress, plus I bet the dry cleaners are going to charge extra because of all those beads.
Is Return of the King out yet? No? How about the extended version of The Two Towers? No, huh? Damn.
Is the dawn terrible? Odd. I never thought so before. I guess if you have to get up at dawn and go to work that would be terrible...
Why doesn't Boromir get a present from the elves? Did they know he was going to die and, if so, why didn't they tell him to be on his guard? Or is poor Boromir just this movie's designated Chewbacca? That's just going to bother me all night.
Ooohh! Viggo and Sean Bean are fighting! Perhaps their disagreement can be solved with a spot of mud wrestling?
Oh. Nope. Sean Bean got shot by orcs instead. That's not as good.
Dammit, why didn't Boromir get any elvish presents? WHY WHY WHY???!!!
And dammit, is Return of the King out YET?
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