Lawrence Makoare
Lawrence Makoare
Perhaps one of our Most Controversial Selections as a Hot Bad Guy, Mr.
Makoare receieved little attention for his Qualifying Role as Lurtz in
Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring.
"Lurtz?," I hear you cry.
"There was nobody named Lurtz in Fellowship of the Ring!" And there you
are wrong, My Friends. Lurtz was the leader of the Uruk-Hai - the orc race
created by Saruman (Cool Bad Guy Christopher Lee).
And now the shrieking begins. I'll wait for you to calm down.
Ah, that's better. Now I'll explain. Obviously, as the Spawn of Saruman (in a non-literal sense) Lurtz is clearly evil. And his masculinity is undeniable - despite the long hair. The hot is an unusual decision. He clearly didn't inherit Daddy's gaunt frame and hooked nose (thank God). He is clearly the most attractive of the Uruks - who are we to discriminate? And while his birth scene was rather...dirty..it only adds to his rugged charm. Didn't you see his death? (Before the decapitation, I mean.) Only a true Hot Bad Guy could so attractively impale himself on an enemy sword.
Let this homage stand as a testament to Our Faith that underneath the Uruk-face and grime, Mr. Makoare deserves his place here. And please, take on a slightly less.. messy...Hot Bad Guy role, so I don't have to keep defending this choice!
Update: Mr. Makoare plays yet another bad guy in the
Lord of the Rings: Return
of the King. Yay! This time it's the Witch King of Angmar, a
pretty bad-ass wraith whom "no man can kill." He's terrifying and
intimidating (just ask Theoden) despite his incorporealness. (What's
with our guys and being incorporeal? Jeez!)
And his armor... dude. If I had armor like that I'd.. well, be terrifying
and intimidating, too. Anyway, yeah, so he gets his butt kicked by a girl,
but she's a pretty kickin' girl, that Eowyn. We won't take any points off
there. She beat us all, too. So, to sum up: Yay! Eeek, scary! and Dude!
Nice armor! Now, next time, let's see about more
Moonstone
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