Johnny Depp
Johnny Depp
What do you get when you cross
The Crow
with Elvis?
You get Sands, the marvelously dorky and yet lethal
CIA agent with a heart of coldest gold in
Once
Upon a Time in Mexico. By the end of this movie,
you’re getting visions of young goth-boys drooling over the
new ‘look’ our hot man Johnny concocts for the final
shoot-em-up scene. Nothing like bloody cheeks, sunglasses,
and a lounge-lizard-cum-rodeo-star clothing combo to get
the gals panting and the boys envious, I always say.
Is there nothing Johnny can’t do? He can shoot people when he’s blind, he favors a fake third arm, and loves to mutter good comebacks under his breath after his adversary has left the room. What is NOT to love? The best part about his role as Sands, besides the whiney arrogance and the obsession for shooting cooks who do too good a job, is his unpredictability. What will he do next? Will he crack a bad joke? Shoot someone just because? Manipulate someone’s emotions and then gloat about it on the phone to someone else? Ooh, the frissons of uncertainty this swaggering hunka’ cheekbones brings to our shuddering – nay – HEAVING bosoms!
We Goddesses are exceedingly pleased to remove Johnny from our Wannabe list and give him a place of honor on the Hot Bad Guy list, because frankly, there are few hotter guys than Johnny. And he can act; what a concept!
(I might be counting a few stolen moments
from Chocolat,
but I’m weak and unfocused that way
(You start off thinking maybe he’s a 3, but
he pretty much confirms his fiveness by the end of the
movie. You’ll see. He’s a bad mo'fo'.)
(His features are just too fine to be 100%
brute-boy, but this takes nothing away, really. Takes
all kinds, I cheerily remind you!)
Dandelion
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