Hayden Christensen
Hayden Christensen
The Beautiful and Tragically Young Hayden Christensen (he's 22, we're Not That Pervy) is best known for his portrayal of Anakin Skywalker, the moody Padawan doomed to become Darth Vader. All in all, this is a trade up for Skywalker, because, and let's just be honest here, Darth Vader has a much cooler ring to it than Anakin, he won't be trapped forever with Ani, that ridiculous nickname, plus he won't have to continue to take guff from his "Master" Obi-Wan Kenobi, played by fellow Hot Bad Guy Ewan McGregor. "Only in your mind, my very young apprentice," my ass. Is it any wonder why Anakin turned to the Dark Side of the Force? Frankly, I'm amazed that he lasted as long as he did.
The true turning point in Anakin's Villainous Career is the kidnapping
and murder of his mother, Shmi Skywalker (and what was all that nonsense
in The Phantom Menace about a Virgin Birth, although an Immaculately
Conceived Villain would be a first), by hordes of Tusken Raiders, a
desert folk from the sands of Tatooine with a penchant for violence as
evidenced also in the Original Star Wars. The most impressive thing
about Mr. Christensen's acting in Episode II is that you can almost see
in his eyes the moment he starts down the path toward Darth Vader. Watch
for it next time. Of course, after that scene is over, the poor guy gets
bogged down in all that cheesy love stuff and the horrific dialogue by
George Lucas. (And speaking of cheesy love stuff, way to go with the
costuming for Padme. Um, guys, she's trying NOT to seduce Anakin.
Perhaps skimpy lingerie and leather corsets were not the way to go here.)
Mr. Christensen is currently filming Star Wars Episode III: Of The
Terrible Subtitle Options. We can't wait to see him really get
Vaderilicious on the Galaxy.
>b>Update! Well, I suppose we should have seen this coming, but Mr. Christensen exceeded all expectations with his dramatic turn to the Dark Side in Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith. Naturally, he was pushed into it by Hot Bad Guy Ewan “Master Obi-Wan” McGregor and Cool Bad Guy Samuel L. “Master Mace Windi” Jackson. Not to mention the Completely Backbone Free Natalie Portman, who all of a sudden hates politics even though she was Queen and a Senator. But I digress. Armed with a sexy new scar, the real impetus for his turn is Cool Bad Guy Ian “Call me the Emperor” McDiarmid, who played on Anakin’s fear about Padme dying in childbirth by promising to teach him a way to cheat death, which caused his eventual turn into Ultimate Evil. Very nice. He’s even sexy while murdering children. It all makes me wonder what kind of attachments he got for that arm...
He's a bit too fond of those robes...
Princess
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